He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
