If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
