No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I looked at my own cervix.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Houston, we have a squirter
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
