it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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