ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
