She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
