can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
