Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
