good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You should frame my arrest warrant.
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