Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
