how can u be prego again
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
