belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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