when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
So squirting runs in the family.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
