I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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