its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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