At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
