it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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