OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
