I bet he comes in French.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
