she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You took a bar mat shot.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
