At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
