I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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