It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
