I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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