So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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