You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
