All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
