it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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