Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
