There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
