kristin has been a bad kristin
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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