but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Randomize
