She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
