so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
