I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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