Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
