toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
