Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
