Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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