he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
