dude i'm inner monologue high
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
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