glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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