I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The uberlube is also flammable
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
