Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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