i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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