thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
