she was so not down for the gang bang
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
