So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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