these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
