I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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